And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18
Motherhood has been like a mirror for my soul, revealing what truly resides in my heart. It has shaken me and stretched me beyond myself, forcing my sin and shortcomings to bubble up to the surface. My kids are the cutest little vessels by which the Lord has chosen to sanctify me.
I've realized along the journey of motherhood that I am desperate for this sanctification that Jesus works in me through my kids. I might even need my kids more than they need me...
-I need my kids to interrupt me - to remind me that my time is not my own, and that sometimes interruptions are God's intervention.
-I need them to splatter food on the walls and spill milk on the floor so that I remember that all of this is temporary, and this world is not my home.
-I need my kids to drive me crazy, forcing me to reckon with my own impatience, anger, and lack of self-control.
-I need them to wake me up at night and rise early in the morning to remind me that it is God who grants sleep and sustains me.
-I need them to slow me down, to cure me of my tendency to hurry so that I notice the people and things that the Lord has placed in my path.
-I need them to pull my hair and climb all over me and spit up on my clothes to humble me and protect me from my pride.
-I need my kids to drive me to my knees over and over again so I won't forget my dependence on the Lord, my inability to do motherhood on my own.
I've realized that what I desire isn't necessarily what I need. What I desire is "peace" and quiet, more time alone, the next season or stage, or a different schedule.
What I need is more time with the Lord, a thankful heart, an eternal perspective, and daily dependence on the Lord in the midst of the chaos. Jesus satisfies my deepest desires when I come to Him instead of fighting for my own superficial wants/"needs."
I thank God for these girls who are forcing me to loosen my grip on all the things that don't really matter and are aiding me in my growth from glory to glory. The Holy Spirit will not waste this season - He is forming us into the image of Jesus with every interaction we have with our children. May we turn to Him in this hard and holy work and allow Him to use our children to shape and mold us. How we need Him (and our kids!) to sanctify us through and through!
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