Our Gentle King

“…for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:30).

Last Monday, I was spiraling (…again…) - one comment from a friend set my mind spinning, and before I knew it I had imagined all the “what ifs” the next year of my life could hold. As the evening went on, I regurgitated the conversation over and over again in my head, reading too deeply into words that weren’t meant to be dissected. Fear began leaking from my heart out of my mouth as I snapped at my kids to get ready for bed. Instead of residing in God I resisted Him, guarding myself and bracing for impact. Anxiety was reigning, ransacking my rational brain and my belief in the goodness of the King.

And as I tightened my grip, gentleness fled the scene. I didn’t come to my gentle and lowly Jesus, but rather, I asserted my “independence,” thinking I was a picture of “strength,” all while protecting myself and pushing my kids away.

And here’s where Philippians 4 stopped me in my tracks: “Let your gentleness be evident to all.” How in the world was I supposed to do that? Evident to ALL? Gentleness is most certainly not the first reaction of my flesh, and in that particular moment it was the last quality that would describe me. It’s Paul’s next statement that struck me: “The LORD is near.” That’s it - the key. The Lord is near. When I believe in the Lord’s nearness - that He’s actually here with me - then gentleness can bubble up, spilling over onto those surrounding me. Why? Because when I acknowledge His presence, then I can rest in Him. I can stop feigning independence and strength, and start depending on the Source of it all. Conversely, when I forget His proximity, gentleness vacates the premises because I’m left to my own devices, fears and fleshly reactions.

I’m finding it to be unavoidably true: the only way we can walk in gentleness is by acknowledging the powerful Presence of our gentle and lowly King.

It’s a total paradox, the gentleness of our great and Almighty God. This is what God tells us about Himself in Isaiah: “Thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: ‘I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite’” (Isaiah 57:15). It’s incredible: God is the MOST powerful and yet His power is under complete control. He exemplifies all-encompassing strength and absolute gentleness. This is how we witness the gentleness of God: He often speaks in a whisper. He favors the humble and lowly, dwelling with them. He came as a BABY. It startles me to actually stop and consider the scandal of it all: the Creator of the cosmos came as a baby.

Our God is high and holy and yet…gentle and lowly. Powerful, yet not harsh. He does not lash out in random rage or use force in unnecessary ways. And His meekness is not weakness. The coming of Jesus confirms it to our questioning minds and hearts: “When Jesus showed up seven hundred years after Isaiah prophesied and revealed his deepest heart as ‘gentle and lowly,’ he was proving once and for all that gentle lowliness is indeed where God loves to dwell. It is what he does. It is who he is” (Ortlund, Gentle and Lowly, 162).

This is what Jesus articulates in Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30). This is the one place in Scripture where Jesus tells us about His heart. He doesn’t say he is perfect in heart, or good, or holy…. He calls himself gentle. Author Dane Ortlund describes it this way in his beautiful book Gentle and Lowly: “Gentleness and lowliness of heart is who Christ is steadily, consistently, everlastingly, when all loveliness in us has withered” (Gentle and Lowly, 197). Despite our unloveliness in our stress, weaknesses and mess, Jesus never fails to meets us in His gentleness, and He continually calls us to Himself.

How do we, as women of God, respond to and emulate the gentleness of Jesus? In this world where we are called to a standard of perfection, productivity, external beauty, independence, and power, how are we to embody the fruit of the spirit of gentleness?

We allow ourselves to be fed and led by Jesus.

He is our Good Shepherd, leading us gently along (especially those of us who are mothers, as we read in Isaiah 40:11). He will parent us, sustain us, and satisfy us when we follow after him. When we are fed and led by Jesus. our hearts can finally find rest, and His gentleness will exude from our very beings. When we come under His care, we can let go of control and stop carrying the yoke of this world. We can release our plans and all that we hold in our hands, yielding our lives and identities to Jesus.

And as we do this, Jesus will make us beautiful: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:3-4, emphasis mine). Our spirits are so often loud, anxious, divided, or clamoring for attention. It almost feels like they have to be, in this wild world in which we dwell. But, the more closely we follow Jesus, the more quiet and gentle our inner selves will become. The woman with a gentle and quiet spirit trusts wholeheartedly that Jesus has her best interests in mind. She is willing to sit in the passenger seat rather than in the driver's seat. She is secure and settled as a daughter of the King, and she submits her strength to God and her life to His authority.

And the funny thing? In this upside down way of our God, there is great strength in gentleness. We read these wise words in the book of Proverbs: “…a gentle tongue can break a bone,” (Proverbs 25:15) and, “A gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1). We will actually find that our gentleness will enable the Holy Spirit to do the work that He needs to do. That when we stop storming around in our “strength” and instead speak and respond with a spirit of gentleness, He will bring the conviction, the power, and the transformation that only He can.

May we stay close to Jesus this week, acknowledging that He is near and allowing ourselves to be fed and led by Him.